Recently in the Waco Trib, I brought your attention to some local guy from the Baylor School of Social Work and the Texas Hunger Initiative who wrote in defense of the new school lunch standards imposed on our children by Czarina Obama.
Jeremy K. Everett might be a good guy, but he's the last guy kids want to have a say in their school lunch. Touting the new school lunch guidelines, he notes, "A school lunch of pizza sticks, a banana, raisins and whole milk under the old guidelines will now be whole wheat spaghetti with meat sauce, a whole wheat roll, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, kiwi and low-fat milk."
Mmm. Nothing makes kids want to eat healthy like kiwi, whole wheat spaghetti and cauliflower. Even the old lunch sounded disgusting: raisins paired with pizza sticks?
In his column Everett also noted the new guidelines will have calorie levels set by grade level. Another brilliant idea. Because anyone who has ever seen more than two children of the same age knows that all kids in the same grade and age group are exactly the same size and need exactly the same amount of calories in their diet. Brilliant, Michelle.
Since Everett's column ran in the Trib and the kiddies have had more time back at school, countless anecdotes of school lunch revolt and parody have popped up all over the country.
In New Bedford, CT kids have set up shop in a black market to peddle illegal shots of chocolate syrup.
Other students in South Dakota just abstain: they toss their nasty vegetables rather than suffer the experience of actually eating them.
And others flex their creative muscle (as difficult as it is to think on an empty stomach) and register their protest in song:
So, Czarina Obama, happy now? As the kids in the video point out, if your goal is to have a school lunch program goal of hunger-free kids, it's kind of hard to do when you feed them stuff they won't eat.
And to bring this full circle, Jeremy Everett, the Baylor guy writing in the Trib, says just have your kids give it a try. Oh, and don't think about packing their lunch with food they'll actually eat. The school and Czarina Obama know better: "If you have children who eat school lunch, encourage them to try the fruits, vegetables and other offerings served this year. If your children don’t eat school lunch, have them give it a try. I bet they will be pleasantly surprised."
Yes. Surprised at how much they complain when they get home.