A listener shared these "word problems" from her child's class at Mountainview Elementary here in Waco.  Umm...who the hell is writing these questions?

 

UPDATE:  Here is the letter sent to parents after the segment on the word problems on Friday's show:

Dear Mountainview parent:
Unfortunately, this morning our school received negative media coverage by a local radio station because of some math word problems that were used to prepare some of our students for the rigorous STARR test. While the problems require practical use of math skills, the events described within the problems are admittedly questionable.
During my investigation of this issue, I have learned that the problems were obtained by one of our teachers
from a fellow educator in another district with whom she shares educational resources and ideas.
In all future test preparation, I have instructed our teachers to carefully read the content of all problems and
practice exercises prior to assigning them to their students. Any problem that sounds inherently bizarre will not be used.Please accept my heartfelt apology for having our wonderful school and its dedicated teachers featured in a such a negative light. If you ever have questions or concerns about the content of our
curriculum here at Mountainview IB, please do not hesitate to contact my office.
Sincerely,
Melissa Pritchard
Principal
 
So there you have it.  I've been assured the teacher in question is a good teacher.  I don't know.  What I do know is I would never think of using word problems like that for two reasons.  First, they're bizarre at a minimum. And honestly Fred getting his nails painted doesn't bother me as much as tying kids up and having a bunch of people hiding in a teacher's closet.  But more importantly, the questions don't make any sense.  The whole point of a word problem is for students to use their math skills and be able to apply them in a real-world, practical scenario. 
 
Perhaps it's as simple as the teacher trying to keep the questions interesting for the students.  But as a guy who's tutored a lot of kids, I can't tell you the number of times I've heard a student say "when am I ever going to use this?"  That's the teacher's job - to engage and explain.  In other words, the teacher's job is to teach.  
 
I hope that's all it is.  Because that's the only explanatioin that makes any sense.  I hope there's not some politically correct world view that's being expressed here.  I'm not that familiar with the International Baccalaureate program at this scool.  This is from Mountainview's website:
 
The International Baccalaureate aims to develop inquiring, knowledgeable and caring young people who help to create a better and more peaceful world through intercultural understanding and respect.

   To this end the organization works with schools, governments, and international organizations to develop challenging programmes of international education and rigorous assessment.

   These programmes encourage students across the world to become active, compassionate, and lifelong learners who understand that other people, with their differences, can also be right 
 
I'm not against any of those things.  But if that is the focus over learning; if that's what led to these ridiculous word problems; if developing compassion is more important than teaching, then it's not a program I'd put my kids in.